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Day nine: healing nicely
There's not a lot to tell you today. Emotionally things seem to be settling. Physically, the pain levels are moderating.
I've still got some internal discomfort, and I expect this will continue for a while as the stumps of my spermatic cords heal and retract to their original locations. It feels weird but not PAINFUL, exactly. Just…uncomfortable. I'm now nine days post-op, which is a bit surreal. I'm sad that I missed my one week orchiversary but at the same time I was at a really, REALLY low ebb on Thursday so there wasn't much celebration in my heart at the time.
I suppose now's as good a time as any to talk about how things are going externally. My incision is healing well. The bruises on either side of the scrotum (which were caused by the injections) have gone away entirely and the colour of the skin is normal. For those who might have wondered, the operation leaves the scrotal skin intact for use as donor tissue if the patient wishes to undergo GRS in the future. While I'm not sure about GRS now, I'm glad it's an option if I DO have it. Right at the moment things look a little different, but because the stumps of the spermatic cords have not retracted, my scrotum almost looks normal. That's how far down Dr Nguyen pulls them down. It's only when you do a physical examination that the truth becomes obvious: there are no testes in there. :) In time that skin will shrink down to the point where the scrotum will be all but invisible.
I wouldn't recommend this procedure to anyone who thinks they're going to have GRS in the near-term future, say, within five years. Suck it up, take your spiro and save your money. But if you think GRS is an impossibility or more than five or six years out, go for it. Just be prepared for the short-term psychological and emotional effects. You're undertaking major surgery, even if it is done on an outpatient basis, and depression and even mourning are normal parts of the recovery process. And the pain pills aren't going to help, especially if you are given opiates, as I was. They're depressants, too. So be aware, and be prepared to be extraordinarily nice to yourself for a few weeks while you recover. Seriously, ***DO NOT*** exert yourself any more than you have to. I should have stayed in Portland another week, and I would have, too (assuming![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
liviapenn and aris_tgd were OK with it) but I thought I needed to get back for my therapy appointment yesterday. As it turned out, I didn't need to rush back after all. I thought if I missed two sessions in a row I'd be dropped from the program, but as it turns out I can miss two sessions in a row, but not THREE. *sigh* Oh well. I'm happy to be home with my sweetie, even if I am confusing the heck out of him with my name and pronouns and what-not. :D
And speaking of my name, I'm thinking of making Beatrice a permanent part of my name. Legally I will probably limit myself to Carla Irene for simplicity's sake, but I kind of like Bea. We'll see how it fits. Right now, you're welcome to address me by whichever name you like. Call me Bea, call me Carla, call me Irene, call me Carlene (seriously), I don't mind. My one request is that you use gender neutral pronouns on me.
And that's it for day nine.
I've still got some internal discomfort, and I expect this will continue for a while as the stumps of my spermatic cords heal and retract to their original locations. It feels weird but not PAINFUL, exactly. Just…uncomfortable. I'm now nine days post-op, which is a bit surreal. I'm sad that I missed my one week orchiversary but at the same time I was at a really, REALLY low ebb on Thursday so there wasn't much celebration in my heart at the time.
I suppose now's as good a time as any to talk about how things are going externally. My incision is healing well. The bruises on either side of the scrotum (which were caused by the injections) have gone away entirely and the colour of the skin is normal. For those who might have wondered, the operation leaves the scrotal skin intact for use as donor tissue if the patient wishes to undergo GRS in the future. While I'm not sure about GRS now, I'm glad it's an option if I DO have it. Right at the moment things look a little different, but because the stumps of the spermatic cords have not retracted, my scrotum almost looks normal. That's how far down Dr Nguyen pulls them down. It's only when you do a physical examination that the truth becomes obvious: there are no testes in there. :) In time that skin will shrink down to the point where the scrotum will be all but invisible.
I wouldn't recommend this procedure to anyone who thinks they're going to have GRS in the near-term future, say, within five years. Suck it up, take your spiro and save your money. But if you think GRS is an impossibility or more than five or six years out, go for it. Just be prepared for the short-term psychological and emotional effects. You're undertaking major surgery, even if it is done on an outpatient basis, and depression and even mourning are normal parts of the recovery process. And the pain pills aren't going to help, especially if you are given opiates, as I was. They're depressants, too. So be aware, and be prepared to be extraordinarily nice to yourself for a few weeks while you recover. Seriously, ***DO NOT*** exert yourself any more than you have to. I should have stayed in Portland another week, and I would have, too (assuming
liviapenn and aris_tgd were OK with it) but I thought I needed to get back for my therapy appointment yesterday. As it turned out, I didn't need to rush back after all. I thought if I missed two sessions in a row I'd be dropped from the program, but as it turns out I can miss two sessions in a row, but not THREE. *sigh* Oh well. I'm happy to be home with my sweetie, even if I am confusing the heck out of him with my name and pronouns and what-not. :DAnd speaking of my name, I'm thinking of making Beatrice a permanent part of my name. Legally I will probably limit myself to Carla Irene for simplicity's sake, but I kind of like Bea. We'll see how it fits. Right now, you're welcome to address me by whichever name you like. Call me Bea, call me Carla, call me Irene, call me Carlene (seriously), I don't mind. My one request is that you use gender neutral pronouns on me.
And that's it for day nine.
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My mom had a friend when we first move to Indiana named Bea. She was very nice, so I have a good association with that name. :)
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