I repeat myself when under stress
Mar. 20th, 2018 08:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seishunso a couple days ago i started stuttering. at first it was just for a short while, maybe a few hours, and it went away after a while. the next day it was back, for a spell, though longer. yesterday, Travis's mom came by to get some stuff from the garage and i started stuttering a bit then, but it did go away. then… in the afternoon, i went to the store. i started stuttering again while there and haven't stopped.
i googled it and was reassured to discover that, while it's not COMMON, adult-onset stuttering DOES happen, and it's generally down to stress. it can be caused by other things, such as trauma to the brain (a stroke or concussion) or neurological diseases like MS or Parkinson's (which, thanks to Dad, i am now TERRIFIED of). but given its odd onset, i think stress is the most likely culprit. i notice that it doesn't happen when i'm speaking another language or if i put on an accent, or sing. that furthers my certainty it's stress; if it were Parkinson's or a stroke i should be stuttering no matter which language or accent i was speaking with.
so over the next couple days i need to do a stress inventory and figure out all the sources of stress in my life, then figure out how i'm going to mitigate them. it's telling, to me at least, that this developed not long after i finalised my travel plans for visiting my folks. they're going on my inventory as entry #1 with a bullet.
i'm going to say, if it's a choice between this stutter, which is inconvenient but not incapacitating, and panic attacks, i will take the stammer any day of the week. it's annoying but i'm not embarrassed by it. and if i understand the reasons behind it, maybe i can work around it. and if not, well, whoopdie-deedle.
ETA: stuttering can also happen in adults who stuttered as children. i don't recall stuttering when i was a boy, but given that i have very few concrete memories of my youth, that means nothing. i plan to ask Mom about it when next we speak.
i googled it and was reassured to discover that, while it's not COMMON, adult-onset stuttering DOES happen, and it's generally down to stress. it can be caused by other things, such as trauma to the brain (a stroke or concussion) or neurological diseases like MS or Parkinson's (which, thanks to Dad, i am now TERRIFIED of). but given its odd onset, i think stress is the most likely culprit. i notice that it doesn't happen when i'm speaking another language or if i put on an accent, or sing. that furthers my certainty it's stress; if it were Parkinson's or a stroke i should be stuttering no matter which language or accent i was speaking with.
so over the next couple days i need to do a stress inventory and figure out all the sources of stress in my life, then figure out how i'm going to mitigate them. it's telling, to me at least, that this developed not long after i finalised my travel plans for visiting my folks. they're going on my inventory as entry #1 with a bullet.
i'm going to say, if it's a choice between this stutter, which is inconvenient but not incapacitating, and panic attacks, i will take the stammer any day of the week. it's annoying but i'm not embarrassed by it. and if i understand the reasons behind it, maybe i can work around it. and if not, well, whoopdie-deedle.
ETA: stuttering can also happen in adults who stuttered as children. i don't recall stuttering when i was a boy, but given that i have very few concrete memories of my youth, that means nothing. i plan to ask Mom about it when next we speak.
