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Daily affirmation
Aug. 10th, 2014 01:13 amSo unless you're new here (you aren't), you know I'm dealing with at least two different mental illnesses. Major depressive disorder is the only one for which I have a diagnosis, but I also have an awesomely awful paranoiac disorder of some sort. Not sure what the proper clinical term for it, but not only do I believe they're out to get me, I believe that no matter how improbable something might seem, no matter how convoluted it seems, it's TRUE. Intellectually I know better, of course, but you try telling that to me when I'm in the grips of a truly massive paranoia attack.
I believe firmly that I am a terrible, awful, very bad, no good person. Trust me on this, folks. I've been me for a LONG time now, and I know where I've been.
Thing is, though, the person who did all those bad things isn't who I am anymore. I've changed, grown up a little. I can't escape my past any more than you can escape yours, gentle reader, but I can hope to learn from it and be a better person. To that end, I want to try to convince myself that the awful things in my past are not representative of my current self and that the person I am today is actually worth loving and caring about. My husbands tell me I'm not a bad person and that I deserve love and happiness. To assist in this potentially futile task I am going to write daily affirmations, in which I list at least one good quality about myself. If anything good happened to me during the day I'll try to remember to put that in here, too.
So here's my first one.
I am a good cook. I've got a real knack for cookery. I know flavours which go well together and can knock up a decent meal from scratch without a recipe.
Several good things happened to me today, as it happens. First, I got to watch some old anime (Tenchi Muyo! and Ranma ½) I haven't watched in years. Second, I got to talk to my aunt about…well, just about this and that. About Mom's 80th, about the scrapbook my sister is putting together for her, about the BLTs she was making for dinner. I would love to be able to go spend some more time with them and my folks this summer, but I don't see another midwest visit happening before January. AND THEN when Travis got home from work we walked to the store and bought some seriously yummy pasta and a pesto sauce to put on it. We had it for dinner with some broccoli and it was delicious. :) And now I'm listening to Franz Ferdinand as I write this before bed. Always a good way to end the day. :)
OH! A bonus thing I'm happy about: Travis got the promotion to assistant manager. His new badge reads "Asst Store Mgr" so I'm calling him "Assorted Store Manger" because of course I am.
I believe firmly that I am a terrible, awful, very bad, no good person. Trust me on this, folks. I've been me for a LONG time now, and I know where I've been.
Thing is, though, the person who did all those bad things isn't who I am anymore. I've changed, grown up a little. I can't escape my past any more than you can escape yours, gentle reader, but I can hope to learn from it and be a better person. To that end, I want to try to convince myself that the awful things in my past are not representative of my current self and that the person I am today is actually worth loving and caring about. My husbands tell me I'm not a bad person and that I deserve love and happiness. To assist in this potentially futile task I am going to write daily affirmations, in which I list at least one good quality about myself. If anything good happened to me during the day I'll try to remember to put that in here, too.
So here's my first one.
I am a good cook. I've got a real knack for cookery. I know flavours which go well together and can knock up a decent meal from scratch without a recipe.
Several good things happened to me today, as it happens. First, I got to watch some old anime (Tenchi Muyo! and Ranma ½) I haven't watched in years. Second, I got to talk to my aunt about…well, just about this and that. About Mom's 80th, about the scrapbook my sister is putting together for her, about the BLTs she was making for dinner. I would love to be able to go spend some more time with them and my folks this summer, but I don't see another midwest visit happening before January. AND THEN when Travis got home from work we walked to the store and bought some seriously yummy pasta and a pesto sauce to put on it. We had it for dinner with some broccoli and it was delicious. :) And now I'm listening to Franz Ferdinand as I write this before bed. Always a good way to end the day. :)
OH! A bonus thing I'm happy about: Travis got the promotion to assistant manager. His new badge reads "Asst Store Mgr" so I'm calling him "Assorted Store Manger" because of course I am.
