27 September 2014
Sep. 27th, 2014 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seishunToday. What can I say about today that hasn't already been said a hundred times before, by far keener observers than I?
Pretty much everything, as it relates to me and my life, as it turns out.
I've been having some…well, I don't know what they are. Episodes where I find it very difficult to breathe and I start hyperventilating. I can't tell if these are little panic attacks, the onset of asthma or some sort of odd allergic reaction to the cat (I've got no other symptoms of a pet allergy). A friend on Twitter suggested trying Benadryl so I popped out to RiteAid and asked the pharmacist there what she might recommend. She recommended getting to a doctor rather than Benadryl which, she said, might exacerbate shortness of breath. I'm adopting a wait-and-see attitude here. It COULD be anxiety. It most likely is, given the various factors in my life which could be contributing to it. If, once the stress has passed, I'm still having this problem I'll talk with a doctor about it. I'm not sure when that will be, of course, since I don't have insurance here and thus cannot afford to go to a doctor right now.
I also watched a leaked copy of the new Star Wars animated series, Rebels. A. Maz. Ing. I kind of miss the more slablike character design of Clone Wars, but the writing and voice acting are top notch. Better still is the music. It's cinematic and it draws you in. I never paid much attention to the music in Clone Wars, but after watching a few episodes tonight I notice that it's more martial in nature (which, given the overall theme of the show, makes sense) and thus—to me—less engaging. If I had a complaint about the new show it's this: either Ezra or Kanan should have been female. By making the two primaries male they limit the potential for development. Clone Wars featured many female Jedi (not to mention a female lead in Ahsoka) so we know they exist and can be plenty badass, so why not have Kanan be female? It's a minor-ish quibble, I know, but there it is. There are two female characters, but at this point they seem to be more character types rather than developed characters. I'm sure each of them will have a solo story and some backstory episodes, but I'm not looking for Rebels to pass the Bechdel test any time soon.
Back to medical stuff, I really wish I had insurance right now so I could get into therapy. It's obvious to me that I need a lot of help and it's not fair to try and use friends as therapists, and it's REALLY not fair to me to have to be my own therapist. Not only do I lack any manner of training (formal or in) I lack any ability to follow up on stuff and so I cannot manage any sort of treatment plan. Also, I really, REALLY need to get myself back on anti-depressants and I can't do that without a doctor. I hate using them but I need to stabilise myself because if I don't I might wind up doing something really, REALLY stupid without meaning to.
There's more to be said, I guess but I'm tired and going to bed now. Maybe I'll write some more tomorrow.
Pretty much everything, as it relates to me and my life, as it turns out.
I've been having some…well, I don't know what they are. Episodes where I find it very difficult to breathe and I start hyperventilating. I can't tell if these are little panic attacks, the onset of asthma or some sort of odd allergic reaction to the cat (I've got no other symptoms of a pet allergy). A friend on Twitter suggested trying Benadryl so I popped out to RiteAid and asked the pharmacist there what she might recommend. She recommended getting to a doctor rather than Benadryl which, she said, might exacerbate shortness of breath. I'm adopting a wait-and-see attitude here. It COULD be anxiety. It most likely is, given the various factors in my life which could be contributing to it. If, once the stress has passed, I'm still having this problem I'll talk with a doctor about it. I'm not sure when that will be, of course, since I don't have insurance here and thus cannot afford to go to a doctor right now.
I also watched a leaked copy of the new Star Wars animated series, Rebels. A. Maz. Ing. I kind of miss the more slablike character design of Clone Wars, but the writing and voice acting are top notch. Better still is the music. It's cinematic and it draws you in. I never paid much attention to the music in Clone Wars, but after watching a few episodes tonight I notice that it's more martial in nature (which, given the overall theme of the show, makes sense) and thus—to me—less engaging. If I had a complaint about the new show it's this: either Ezra or Kanan should have been female. By making the two primaries male they limit the potential for development. Clone Wars featured many female Jedi (not to mention a female lead in Ahsoka) so we know they exist and can be plenty badass, so why not have Kanan be female? It's a minor-ish quibble, I know, but there it is. There are two female characters, but at this point they seem to be more character types rather than developed characters. I'm sure each of them will have a solo story and some backstory episodes, but I'm not looking for Rebels to pass the Bechdel test any time soon.
Back to medical stuff, I really wish I had insurance right now so I could get into therapy. It's obvious to me that I need a lot of help and it's not fair to try and use friends as therapists, and it's REALLY not fair to me to have to be my own therapist. Not only do I lack any manner of training (formal or in) I lack any ability to follow up on stuff and so I cannot manage any sort of treatment plan. Also, I really, REALLY need to get myself back on anti-depressants and I can't do that without a doctor. I hate using them but I need to stabilise myself because if I don't I might wind up doing something really, REALLY stupid without meaning to.
There's more to be said, I guess but I'm tired and going to bed now. Maybe I'll write some more tomorrow.
