An update on my sister and brother-in-law

I “spoke” with my sister via text and voicemail. I called and asked if she’d had anything to do with the email. Said I forgave her and Mike both for their hateful, hurtful hypocrisy and wished them the best. Said don’t bother returning this call if you had anything to do with the email. Not content to let me have the last word, she texts back:

“Working now. Knew and approved of every letter and word in mikes response. Will write a letter as well. i have accepted whatever u r. i don’t have to invite it into my life or my familys life.”

I called again to say something like, “OK, then please don’t call, email, text or write to me. You’ve made it clear you don’t want me to be a part of your life, and I respect that. Leave me be.”

Again, she couldn’t let ME have the last word (what with me being Wrong and Sinful and all that) so she texts back:

“Working now. Putting the education mom and dad gave me to good use.”

A couple seconds later:

“Do not call while I am working. WIll text in between visits. Should be done by four.”

Now she’s dictating when *I* can contact her? Again with treating me like a child, too.

My last message to her was an SMS via email which said:

“I don’t have a text plan on my phone. Your texts cost me money. You’ve made yourself clear, now go away.”

I’m sure that once she’s done with work she’ll have to get in yet another last word, but maybe not. Whatever her reaction, I’m going to stop talking to her. I can’t block her texts, and but I have set my phone to not notify me if she texts again, and I’ve set the ringer to silent for her number, so I can ignore her more easily.

As for email… I may set something up so that her emails go to someone else for review first. Maybe to Travis, or maybe to a neutral party. If anyone would like to help me with that, please let me know.

Now. I forwarded the email to my mother, and then called her to let her know. We talked for a few minutes, and it was so wonderful. She was encouraging, told me to ignore the email and let life continue on. She also said that even thought she and my father don’t understand what it happening to me or why I’m doing this, that I am an adult and they respect my decision. She said she hoped it was the right one. I love her so much!

While I was writing this, I got an email from her:

“HI [Carla],  I’ve read  Mike’s rantings.  My first impression was correct. Wouldn’t be half as bad if it weren’t so pious!  You know , “ cast the first stone” thing.  My assessment is Forget that it was written. Love from your Mother.”

Love. That. Woman. :)

So how am I feeling now? I’m…well, honestly, I’m doing OK. I feel good now, or at least I feel better. Sad. Disappointed. But honestly? These are people I have so little to do with on a day-to-day basis. I might talk to my sister once a year. Can’t remember the last time I see or spoke with Mike. 2007, maybe? So their drama amounts to a gnat’s fart in a hurricane, honestly. I neither need, seek nor desire their approval. I am who I am not because my sister approves. I am who I am because I SAY this is who I am. I’d hoped for her love and acceptance, to be sisters together, but instead I am greeted with poison and hatred. So be it. As of this day, I am apparently an only child. And life goes on. I have far more important things to spend my energy on.